This is an offshoot of the original Liam & Janet blog. That blog has become overrun by Liam's inability to keep his mouth shut when something annoys him. The serious rants there seemed incongruous with the humor columns. The plan for the humor columns continues to be to post a new one every Friday, plus occasional extras when the mood strikes.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Blog Index

For a quick introduction to the blog, click here. If you would like to have entries in the blog mailed to you, click here to learn more. I have also begun posting these as audio "podcasts", for those who like all humor squeezed out of their humor essays by hearing them read in a droning monotone, the feed is at:

Index of prior posts, by type. Items marked "NEW" are new within one week of the date this index was last published. (NEW INDEX POLICY: I will try to keep the blog index as the SECOND post, so that a new reader's first introduction to the blog is a column, not the index.)

Most Recent New Column:

Wanted: Dead or Alive (5/30/2010)

Essays Only Available On-Line:

Oracle User Conference series:

  • It's A Small World, But an Expensive One (intro) (5/6/2005, only in the book)
  • IOUG-A Live! 2005 (Day One) (5/2/2005)
  • IOUG-A Live! 2005 (Day One, Continued) (5/2/2005)
  • IOUG-A Live! 2005 (Day Two, Morning) (5/3/2005)
  • IOUG-A Live! 2005 (Day Two, Afternoon) (5/3/2005)
  • IOUG-A Live! 2005 (Day Two, Evening) (5/3/2005)
  • IOUG-A Live! 2005 (Day Three, Morning) (5/4/2005)
  • IOUG-A Live! 2005 (Day Three, Afternoon) (5/4/2005)
  • IOUG-A Live! 2005 (Final Thoughts) (5/4/2005)

  • Hoist the Sales Matey! 'Tis Black Friday! (12/2/2006)
    But Soft, What Brick Through Yonder Window Breaks? (12/9/2006)
    Only the Fifth Day of Christmas? I Can't Take All Twelve! (12/29/2006)
    Across The Atlantic... On Half A Battery (2/28/2007)
    Mmmmmm. Spicy! (3/4/2007)
    Really? So That’s What a "Tranny" Is? (6/14/2008)
    We'll Leave The Light On For Ya... It Makes The Roaches Scatter (6/21/2008)
    Diagnosis: Over 40 (6/30/2008)
    Senators, Out Standing In Their Field (7/7/2008)
    That Surgeon Really Has Gall(bladder) (7/18/2008)
    I’m Not Single, But I Sure Am Swingin’ (8/12/2008)
    The Rope Wasn't Hemp, But I Got High on It Anyway (8/23/2008)
    STUFFED: A Thanksgiving Tale of Weight Loss and Bodily Function (11/28/2008)
    Flightmares (4/2/2009)
    Positively Liam (4/9/2009)
    A Taxing Essay (4/15/2009)
    Yule Never Believe What I Did Today (4/23/2009)
    Well Now, Isn't He Special (4/28/2009, special extra essay)
    When Pigs Fly: Swine Flu (4/30/2009)
    Nailed It! (5/7/2009)
    It's a Car, Not a Crisis! (10/14/2009)
    All Dressed Up and Nowhere to ... Go (10/25/2009)
    On Firetrucks, Floods and Other 'F'-Words (10/31/2009)
    Vacation Vignettes (1/22/2010)
    A Hair of the Dog, or "Take Two WHAT and Call You In The Morning?" (4/12/2010)
    Wanted: Dead or Alive (5/30/2010)
    On Stereotypes (6/14/2010)
    P.S. Daddy, I Love You (6/28/2010)
    Cute Story (not humor) (7/8/2010)
    My Car Doesn't Corner Well (7/17/2010)
    15 Essays in 30 Days (12/6/2010)
    15 Essays in 30 Days (12/13/2010)
    Drink? Yes, Please, But Something Stronger Than Holiday Cheer (12/20/2010)
    Yule Be Happier Staying At Home (12/27/2010)
    Hey, Universe, Stop Throwing Things At Me! (1/3/2011)
    Shingles? But I Have a Metal Roof! (1/10/2011)
    Memory-Rolled (1/17/2011)
    The Germ of An Idea (1/24/2011)
    Visions of Meconium Dancing in My Head (1/31/2011)
    Mr. Love Pickle (2/7/2011)
    Open Mouth, Insert Foot (10/15/2011)
    A Tale of Two Liams (10/16/2011)

    Essays Available in my book, "Cue Ball City":

    Sleep Study Trilogy:

  • Modern Medicine: Takes My Breath Away (2/17/2005)
  • Mr. Vader... Paging Mr. Vader (2/19/2005)
  • Who Was That Masked Man? (2/22/2005)

  • Tragedy Strikes Musicians (2/27/2005)More Harmony, Less Hardware (3/4/2005)Guilty? Me? (3/11/2005)Cue Ball City (3/18/2005)Prius? You Don't Even Know Us (3/25/2005)We're All Going To Play Bruise Cruise (4/1/2005)Ahhh!!! I'm Bleeding! (4/8/2005)

    Van from South Carolina series:

  • Vanward Ho! (4/15/2005)
  • Leave the Driving to Us. (4/29/2005)
  • There's No Place Like Home. (5/13/2005)

  • Atonal, Arrhythmic, Aaaaaaaaa! (4/22/2005)

    It's A Small World, But an Expensive One (intro) (5/6/2005)
    Building a Baby. (5/20/2005)Not the Compact Disk I Was Looking For. (5/27/2005)Cell Phone? Or a bottle of Thunderbird. (6/3/2005)What Do You Get For Their Anniversary? Depends... (6/10/2005)Got a Sticky Situation? Buy Something Useless! (6/17/2005)Sure as Death and Taxes. (6/24/2005)A Snowball's Chance in... New Hampshire? (7/1/2005)The Bonds of Holy...MOLY, is that guy HUGE! (7/8/2005)The Plaquo-Terrorist Threat. (7/15/2005)No, Officer. She's just a little Tipsy. (7/22/2005)How Can I Get That Prescription? (7/29/2005)Hairy Situations. (8/5/2005)Liam: Mountain Man (8/12/2005)Caution: Terrorist on Board (8/19/2005)Sleep? It's Overrated (8/26/2005)Labor Day (9/5/2005 (Posted late due to hurricane Katrina))Business Travel Ranting (9/13/2005 (Posted late because I'm a forgetful bonehead))Fashion Plate Barbie and Homeless Ken (9/16/2005)Momma, He's Lazy! (9/30/2005)Field Trips: Not Just For Students Anymore (10/9/2005)Hamming It Up (11/27/2005)Globally Warm This (3/4/2006)Beans Beans... woot (3/10/2006)Underpants and Stolen Jokes (3/29/2006)Ah Uh Goo (4/25/2006)One of Those Days (5/31/2006)1/4 of July, You Can Keep The Other 3 (7/2/2006)So THAT'S Why They Call It 'The Old Country' (11/8/2006)Payback is Hell (11/17/2006)Musing Unconsciously (11/25/2006)

    "Cue Ball City (and other bald musings)" can be purchased directly from the publisher at:

    It will also be available (after mid-January 2007) from,, and other national booksellers.



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